“Sometimes we need someone to accept and love us first. Then we would learn to see ourselves through that person’s eyes and learn to love ourselves.”
- Yuki Sohma, Fruits Basket
It’s a common thing to hear ‘If you don’t like yourself, then how do you expect others to like you?’ It’s a well-intentioned saying. It encourages you to think positively, think good of yourself and start boosting your self-esteem.
But despite its good intentions, it often over-simplifies the reality. Like Yuki puts it in an episode of Fruits Basket, what if you just can’t find anything about yourself that you like or feel good about?
The whole ‘If you don’t like yourself, then how do you expect others to like you?’ doesn’t always work because it assumes you can change your personal opinion about yourself just like that. Depending on how it’s said, sometimes it feels like sayer is accusing us of disliking ourselves and being negative on purpose, as if we can instantly stop whenever we like it.
And in a way, that probably makes things worse. They’re telling us to snap out of it but we can’t. They say it as if it’s a simple solution. How pathetic we must be if we can’t even follow something so simple, right? In this case, it has not helped us think more positively at all. It probably makes us feel worse.
Maybe that’s how we got here in the first place. Because we can’t find anything we like about ourselves. We can’t think positive when we don’t see anything positive to think about. Our thoughts can’t always be controlled so easily.
So I think this quote really hits the nail on the head. Sometimes we need someone to tell us what they see. Someone who can remind us of why we’re so likeable. Someone who makes us realise that there is something about us that can actually be loved. It doesn’t even have to be spoken in words, sometimes actions can be enough to make us think ‘they enjoy being around me,’ ‘they like talking to me,’ and eventually ‘maybe I’m not all that bad after all.’
And so, to all of you, my dear special readers, I leave you on this note: Go show someone how great and how loved they truly are today. Everyday :)